Assalammuailaikum...
Alhamdulilah...
Hope and dreams...
I never experience failure before..,
I never ever feel the grief depressions before..,
And i never ever think that i will come to this situation...
yes, This is the first time that i feel a sudden drop in my life...
On 26th of April, while taking my break... I was so freaked out to know about my Muet result..
I was hesitated to know it..
But before i open the message..
I just smiled and said to myself..
HAVE FAITH IN ALLAH...
Then i opened..it just to find out that I got only Band 3.. only 4 marks left for Band 4...
Frustrating isn't it ??
I just dropped on that moment..
I couldn't hold back my tears...
On that silence crew room...
I shed my tears..
Mourning for my failure...
I texted my parents.. asking for their forgiveness for letting them down,.
But they said.. Its okay..
Just take another course..
When I'm trying to put myself together..
Something happened..
Mawi's song were played on the radio that time..
"Sujud"
Some of the lyrics were
Bila dilanda musibah.. hati mudah gundah..
Jangan biarkan dugaan musnahkan pendoman hidup..
Can you believe.. at that moment.. that song were played..
Allah try to sooth me...
He's giving me a sign..
not to give up... And He's knows better...
He try to cheer me up..
How Merciful...
Oh Allah...
how great Your love towards me and yet i'm still not a good servant to You..
Even on my home,
I listened to Maher zain's song...
"I Believe"
I cried once again..
Letting go all the pain that I endured in my chest..
I didn't pay any attention to people around me..
Its like .. I'm just talking to Allah only..
When i reached home.., I saw me nephews playing around and suprisingly I just smiled..
Allah gave me another reasons to be happy..
My family...,
They support me..
Even though i might not get to be a lawyer..
But still.. without law..
Its like.. I lost part of me..
I don't even know .. who i am anymore..
Its like a huge hole has been punched into my chest...
Only Allah knows how i feel deep inside of me...
I'm not giving up...
I know someday i will learn law..
maybe I'm not gonna be lawyer, public prosecutor or a judge...
But I PROMISE TO MYSELF that I will possess a degree in law..or anything about law
Even it takes years...
Insyaalah..
Oh Allah..
